As I mentioned in the ‘It’s not your fault’ post, you have to survive somehow, and what is imperative to your survival is finding a safe place. Whether that be a friend or family member, school, church, online communities, books, or a hobby.
This is one of the most important things for anyone growing up in a home with addiction, in my opinion. It gave me hope when I was younger to know that I had places to go that were not my home, that felt more safe sometimes, peaceful. When I was very young it was my neighbor’s and we would do crafts together. Another big distraction for me was getting lost in a book. It is still one of my favorite ways to destress and go somewhere else for a while.
The most important though was probably my best friend’s house. Her parents were divorced, so I would be at both of her homes, but her dad was and still is sober to this day, and her mom is an alcoholic and has some mental health issues, so she started living with her dad full time in middle school. Having someone who understood what I was going through first hand, and also had a dad who was in recovery and had knowledge from AA helped me immensely. I still had my own mental health issues and substance issues farther down the line, but knowing that I had that as my safe space and was able to talk about what was going on at home, without feeling embarrassed or like I was being judged was so impactful in my childhood.
My grandmother was also someone who just brought me peace. Whenever I was feeling down or stressed out, just going to talk to her about anything helped. She was a person who always believed in me and made me feel like I was smart, I could do anything, she wanted to hear everything I had to say, and that was so special to me.
I hope that you have a few people in your life that you were, or are able to confide in and feel safe. If you don’t, there are help lines, groups either in person or online that are more than willing to help you. I know it feels like you are going through this on your own, but still remember even though it is not openly spoken about out loud, there are so many others going through the same thing. There are some resources on the Resource page to look at, and you are always welcome to contact the blog.
Bloom